John McEnroe is probably my favorite tennis player ever, next to Arthur Ashe, but John McEnroe used to act like a Spoiled F*****g Brat on the court. He was, however, a dominant force on the tour in his heyday. Has Andy Roddick even had a “heyday”? I didn’t think so! And now, he’s old, so what does the future hold? Well, hopefully, not the asinine behavior he displayed last night in his first-round loss to Phil Kohlschreiber at the Western and Southern Open in Cincinnati. Yeah, first round!!! Now, Kohlschreiber ain’t no scrub, but c’mon, his last name sounds like a kosher hot dog brand. Well, before he lost to Phil, Andy acted like an a**hole and launched a ball into the stands, among other things.Personally, if I were married to Brooklyn Decker, nothing could ever upset me!
Andy Roddick was unraveling long before he smashed a ball in frustration to the top of the stands during his first-round match at the Western and Southern Open on Monday night. The former world No. 1 had blown a set and a break lead to Phillip Kohlschreiber and had just double faulted to give the German a chance to go up a break in the deciding set. That’s when he whacked at a ball in anger and sent it sailing high into the Cincinnati night.
Instead of serving at 30-40, Roddick was issued a point penalty for his actions and would lose the game without playing another point. He went down 0-5 in the set and eventually lost to Kohlschreiber 6-7 (5), 7-5, 6-1.
The early loss continues Roddick’s lost summer. In the rankings released next week, he’ll be outside the top 20 for the first time since Aug. 19, 2001. He’s won just five of his last 14 matches overall, including the last four straight. Since losing an epic five-set Wimbledon final to Roger Federer in 2009, Roddick has advanced to the quarterfinals of a Slam only once. Four times he’s gone out in the third round or earlier.
I mean, a tennis ball launched into the air can easily be caught, but a line drive would be a different story. Maybe next time, eh, Andy? I know it’s your livelihood, and it’s hella competitive, but when you start launching balls into the stands and risking the safety of innocent fans there’s only one solution: Some serious reflection regarding your future, followed by a group intervention, featuring a staunch ass-whoopin’(and maybe some extra workouts), you rich, hot wife-having ingrate!
Halle Berry turned 45 over the weekend! Halle Berry turned 45 over the weekend! Sorry! Had to write it twice to make sure I didn’t just imagine writing it the first time. She celebrated 45 years of hotness on Malibu Beach in an orange bikini with friends and daughter, Nahla Aubry. Where does a 45-year-old woman get off having a face and body like that, anyway? I’m having a hard time with the audacity of the powers that be putting all their eggs in one basket. Oh, ‘cuz nobody has or will ever look this good on the beach in a bikini at 45, unless, of course, they have fangs and drink fairy blood twice a day(True Blood is awesome!). Halle’s man, Olivier Martinez, was somewhere nearby, but did exactly what any self-respecting man around the same age as Halle would’ve done – stayed the hell out the way(thanks, Bro). Ya’ just can’t help but to look like an old bag of over-the-hill, crotchety bones next to a fine piece of elegant, no-way-in-hell-your-45 piece of prime rib like that, even if you have a classic, hunky Latin name, a sexy French accent and have your way with Halle Berry whenever you feel like it. I hate you, Olivier!!!
I remember a time when I’d drive like an hour to kick it with a hot chick. Yeah, those were the days, when I’d do anything for sex….almost! I’ve heard pizza compared to sex before. I think the saying goes “pizza’s like sex – even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good”.
Here’s a quaint, somewhat related, little story involving pizza. WHDH reports:
A Mississippi man who grew up in Massachusetts goes to great lengths for a good pizza.
About 1,400 miles to be exact.
David Schuler drove to Jackson, Miss. last weekend with 150 pies from the Town Spa in his home town of Stoughton (STOWE’-tun), just outside Boston.
It’s a tradition he started years ago when he couldn’t find a good slice in Mississippi, where he says the pizza is “horrible.”
Here’s where I compare pizza to sex:
“Pizza’s like sex – when it’s 1,400 miles away, I ain’t gettin’ any!”
We’ve featured the bikini sexiness of such celebrities as Ashley Tisdale, Julianne Hough, Gisele Bundchen, Rihanna, Erin Heatherton and Bar Refaeli, and you already know how we feel about the bootyliciousness(probably not a word) of each and every one of these bikini babes. Now, Wacky Wants To Know what you think, so take some time out from your busy schedule of perusing the internet for ogletastic(definitely not a word) female orifices, Ya’ Perv, and share your opinion with the world. Vote for the most bootylicious celebrity chick we’ve featured so far:
Christina Aguilera is lending her voice to a Michael Jackson tribute concert planned for October in Wales.
Organizers of “Michael Forever – The Tribute Concert” announced Thursday that Aguilera would be joined by members of the Jackson family, Cee Lo Green, Leona Lewis and the band Alien Ant Farm, which is known for its cover of Jackson’s song “Smooth Criminal.”
The announcement came after more than two weeks of silence about performers for the Oct. 8 show at Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales.
While the event is endorsed by the singer’s mother and some of his siblings, brothers Randy and Jermaine Jackson have protested its timing. The concert is scheduled during the trial of a doctor charged in Jackson’s death.
The singer’s estate is also not affiliated with the concert.
Remember the Buns Of Steel workout videos that were all the rage back in the day? Yeah, I’ll bet they didn’t sell one copy in Brazil. Here are some Gisele Bundchen bikini shots in Costa Rica showin off her post-baby buns lookin’ like they came straight from the hands of Vasco Prado himself. The Brazilian booty never ceases to amaze me, but when a tall, lanky, over 30 mom is sporting an a** like this, I just have to revisit my fascination and re-evaluate how unfair life truly is that said a** has/will never be a part of my life. Obsessing? Maybe a little!
You know when you’re in the john and you see that dude walk straight past the sink after having his d**k in his hand, and you say damn, that mother effer is nasty. Of course, sometimes it’s an employee walking past, not only the sink, but the sign that reads “All employees must wash hands before returning to work”. Well, this Austrian museum employee went one better.
A famed Austrian museum has fired an employee for washing his hands and face with his urine.
Alfred Zoppelt says he was fired after 23 years of working as an attendant at the Belvedere, a castle in Vienna with a major art collection. He says his adherence to urine therapy was previously “never a problem.”
Zoppelt, 57, said Thursday his notice from Belvedere says he was fired because “you regularly rub urine into your skin, particularly the face and hands. With this, you soil your place of work … and threaten the health of your co-workers.”
By rubbing urine into your skin you threaten health of your co-workers? Naw, really? Austrian museum employees are weird! That’s wrong I shouldn’t pigeon hole them like that. Wow! That’s all I can say, at this point. Oh, wait, and Ewww!!!
Erin Heatherton is a Victoria’s Secret Angel(duh) who makes me contemplate all sorts of unholy ways to get just one shot, but that would be a sacrilege, and although, I’m a bit bastardly, I’m not a fool. Don’t mess with the devil, ‘cuz you’ll get the pitchfork….right up the ol’ kazoo, which may still be somewhat worth it, minus the blood and pain. How deranged am I to turn such an innocent subject as a psuedo-Angel with heavenly parts into a holy war with no real substance? But wait, there’s a beach, so it must be ok, right? Enjoy Erin Heatherton on the beach shooting for Victoria’s Secret.
Rihanna has given us so much scrumptiousness over the past week or so, and we here at Wacky Bastards just want to continue the love affair and send her a big ol’ “Thanks For the Memories”, ‘cuz this onslaught of beautiful lady parts has been overwhelmingly satisfying, to say the least. I’m not sure if I can take anymore, but, of course, I can, so I will. Rihanna is still in Barbados kickin’ it with her family and friends, and in these pics she’s dawning some rather weird-looking, yet, sexy on her, tight, multi-colored, striped pants that hugged the muffins just right. Lord knows RiRi is more than capable of makin’ offbeat look on point, so enjoy these pics of her showing her stripes.
The rapper, whose real name is Antwan Patton, was charged with three counts of possession of a controlled substance and one count of possession of drug paraphernalia on Sunday. According to the Miami-Dade County Corrections website, the 36-year-old Patton was also carrying MDMA, which is the main ingredient in Ecstasy.
The rapper was booked around 1:30 p.m. on $16,000 bond.
$16,000 bond? That ain’t sh*t! What is it with these celebs rollin’ with drugs in their possession like they can’t afford to pay someone else to carry the sh*t and potentially take the fall if things(making it home to get f—ed up) don’t go as planned? That’s why I’m not rich, ‘cuz I’d get away with too much. Maybe it’s not that simple. I’ll revisit this subject when I’m sober!
I watch “So You Think You Can Dance” pretty regularly, and fixate on a few of the females every season. In the third season, I latched on to ballroom dancer, Lacey Schwimmer, sister of the previous season’s winner, Benji Schwimmer. Yeah, that’s a talented family. I thought Lacey was an attractive girl, with some nice curves, and was disappointed when she left the competition, taking fourth place. Then, she joined “Dancing With The Stars”, and I saw more curves, which actually had me watching a little bit more “Dancing With The Stars”. Fast forward to August 6th, 2011 at the Vanity Nightclub in The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, and all I can say is “BOING”! What the hell is really going on, ‘cuz I swore, at first glance, “oh Coco’s at another red carpet event”, but nope! It’s Lacey Schwimmer wearing black stretch pants, with ass-for-days(and you know how much we love ass around these parts), lookin’ like a double-scoop fudge/caramel sundae with a strawberry glaze!(I’m a poet) All that’s missing are the “Nuts”. Sorry, haven’t eaten yet!
Rihanna wears a Bob Marley swimsuit so well, doesn’t she? Anyway, she was at it again over the weekend while still in Barbados visiting family and friends. This time drinkin’ the Beer of Barbados, Banks Beer. And while drinkin’ beer looks good on a woman, a bikini looks even better, so let’s focus on that, shall we? Call it a bikini or swimsuit, but I call it the next best thing to being nekkid(or naked) in public. I know one thing, Robert Marley is somewhere with a smile on his face from ear-to-ear, and it ain’t from the Ganja, Man! By the way, it would seem Banks Beer may need to kick Rihanna down with a little sumthin’, sumthin’, ‘cuz until today, I didn’t even know it(Banks) existed, and I consider myself somewhat of a beer connoisseur. I’m predicting a significant spike in sales soon. Yeah, I’m a blogger and an economic forecaster. Anyway, enjoy the rest of Rihanna’s beer and bikini pics. You know I had to include a couple back shots…..Yessir!
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