Wacky Bastards

Sup,

It’s nice having friends who won’t stab you in the back. No, they’ll stab you wherever and whenever you ask them to.

From the horse’s mouth(My Fox Philly):

Three people in Beatrice, Neb., were charged after a woman allegedly asked her friends to stab her so she could avoid a probation hearing, the Beatrice Daily Sun reported Friday.

The incident occurred last month when Scott Roberson-Truman, 20, and Jerry L. Duke, 32, stabbed 21-year-old Jessalyn Stierwalt in the stomach and shoulder.

Stierwalt said she had asked the men to stab her so she could dodge a probation meeting the next day because she was not sufficiently sober.

I feel the stare and squint coming……………………..I’m back! Ok, look, I love drinking as much as, if not more than, the the next man, but c’mon. No plans to visit Nebraska no time soon……they crazy up there!

Sup,

Here’s Serena Van Der Woodsen, Blake Lively, in L.A., filming “Gossip Girl”, lookin’ leggy as hell. I love me some long legs, among other female parts, afterall, long legs mean a nice high a** and y’all know Extra and I love us some a**. Back to the subject at hand, “Gossip Girl” is one of my guilty pleasures, not because of the obvious – rich, spoiled, scandalous hotties sexin’ up the city – as important as that may be, but because “Gossip Girl” is narrated by fine-ass “Veronica Mars”, Kristen Bell, and just hearing her voice with that hint of naughtiness in every spoken word takes me to a place few chicks can(no offense to all you chicks who have taken me to some wonderful places). Where was I? Oh yeah, Blake Lively’s legs are long and outstanding and Gossip Girl should be good this coming season, so be sure and check it out, because I definitely will be, so I’ll stop running with this sentence now. Enjoy the following pics featuring more of Blake Lively’s leggy goodness:

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And it would seem the critics agree!!! The Change-Up, starring Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman, hasn’t been received well by critics, and it’s probably not gonna help that it’s two main stars are kinda, sorta fueling the fire in said “garbage” can. According to the AP, Bateman went on “The Daily Show” and called the movie “Crap”, then “Garbage”. Ryan Reynolds followed suit stating, “body-switching is a pretty stupid f—–g idea, but the movie’s funny.” Not sure how the director of “Wedding Crashers” and the writers of “The Hangover” will feel about this.

Come to think of it, body-switching is pretty stupid and played out, so hey, Jason/Ryan, thanks for the heads-up. I won’t be going to see your stupid, crappy, f*cking, garbage movie. I owe you guys! Much love.
Check out the trailer:

Sup,

Rihanna has been in Barbados straight kickin’ it with family and friends. She was spotted gettin’ loose for the Kadooment Parade earlier this week which had the web in an uproar(like she’s not supposed to party like a rock star). Anyway, today, Rihanna decided to kick it on the beach and show them curves we all love so much. Damn, I can’t say it enough – Rihanna’s body is bangin’ and I’m more than ecstatic that she wears it proudly. I need to point out(or maybe I dont) that I’m an a** man, so with an a** like that, I’ve decided to focus on that(Rihanna) a**, and the curvature that seems so perfectly symmetrical, makin me just wanna bust out some geometry, and, yes, I’m just rambling, because a** affects me in that special way. I’m done now….enjoy my Rihanna Bangin Bikini Body beach pics in Barbados.

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Sup,

I’m on the couch, Bundy-style, watching Teen Wolf(don’t judge), when Zoe Saldana bursts on the scene, straight blastin fools and hittin’ ‘em with a right, left, right, left, your toofless, and then they say God…..hold up….forgot where I was. Let’s just say she was kickin’ ass and taking names. Just when I thought the crotch assault couldn’t get any worse, the words are spoken…….COLOMBIANA! Damn the fact it was a man’s voice, I swear it took 5 minutes for the title to stop whispering in my ear, then I needed a cigarette. Hell, I don’t even smoke! Black, blue, brown, green……Zoe Saldana can get it, however she wants it. I’m a fan. Never forget her name? Nope! Vengeance is Beautiful? Yep! And then, the icing on the cake(pun intended) – it comes out on Wacky Bastard’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Wacky! We’re going to see Colombiana! Check out the trailer that started it all for me:

Sup,

So, what do you get when you cross conducting city business and drinking? A $1 Million Lawsuit, that’s what! Just ask Mayor Martin Resendiz of Sunland Park, New Mexico.

From the Horse’s Mouth(WTHITV):

The Albuquerque Journal reports Thursday that Resendiz acknowledged during a deposition that he had been drinking for several hours with executives of the architectural design firm Synthesis and didn’t know what he was signing.

Resendiz is a former police officer and municipal judge. He has been the border town’s mayor since March 2008 and has said he plans to seek the Democratic nomination to challenge Republican Congressman Steve Pearce.

Drunk and didn’t know what you were signing? Plans to run for Congress? If this were 20 years ago, I’d say good luck with that, buddy, but we’ve seen worse, and “admitting you have a problem” is the firs step, right?

Sup,

A man, David Hayes, from Burnley, UK, obviously on heroin, told police he thought his heroin stash was protein powder. Yeah, and if you pull this finger, a kilo of pure uncut cocaine will fly out my ass, but it’s not mine(be nice though, right?).

From the horse’s mouth(Burnley Express):

When police analysed the substance and found it was the drug, Ricky David Hayes (31), a former user, said he had made a mistake.

Hayes, now on a Methadone programme, admitted possessing 2.55g of heroin and diazepam on January 17th. The defendant, of Lower Tentre, Burnley, was given a six-month community order with supervision.

That’s a helluva mistake! The sh*t you  get away with when you’re a drug addict in the UK seems kind of amazing. A six-month community order with supervision – what the hell does that mean? Sure, it wasn’t 2.55 K’s, but come on now! Hey, at least he’s getting the help he needs, right?

Sup,

Rihanna is from Barbados for all you fakers out there who think she’s Jamaican and  just like to stare at her body parts. Hey, I stare at her lovely lumps just as much as the next guy, or girl, but at least know she’s from Barbados. Rihanna’s gettin’ more meat on her bones too. Anyway, she was in her hometown to celebrate Kadooment Day, and I never thought red fishnets could make me sweat, without actually having them on in a hot place, of course. During the parade, RiRi had the headdress, sequin bikini, red fishnets ensemble blazin’ a trail through the streets of Barbados – drinkin’ and sprayin’ folks along the way. I like this Rihanna! You can judge a celebrity’s character by how they get down in their hometown, and Rihanna’s workin’ it. Good for her, but better for us, ‘cuz we get to stare at them parts we love so much. Is it just me, or do we have some nipple slippage happening in some of these? Maybe it’s just “a shadow of a nipple”.

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Sup,

So Reggie Bush just got traded to the Miami Dolphins, and will be down there in South Beach where damn-near every chick looks like his current squeeze Claudia Sampedro, a cuban model with assets seemingly greater than Bill Gates’. I’ve said to myself(not that I talk to myself often), I’d like to see more of Miss Sampedro, and it seems my prayers may have been answered, as she’ll be appearing in ads for Sicario Tequila, combining my two favorite pastimes – ogling women and drinkin’! I don’t know much about her, but the pic above is courtesy of Claudia via Lockerz, and can I say, “I’m diggin’ the tat”? Here at Wacky Bastards, our slogan is “A splash of fun….A shot of crazy”. I’m inclined to caption the above Claudia Sampedro photo , ” A shot of buns….A splash of amazing”, ‘cuz that’s what it is………..Amazing!

Check out the video of her dishing about Sicario Tequila and more photos at Mommy’s Dirty Little Secret, my kinda’ site!

Captain America: The First Avenger is the story of Steve Rogers, a frail young man from Brooklyn, New York, who after being continually denied access into the military, finally gets his opportunity after a chance meeting with a military scientist for an experimental program.

The movie takes place at the height of World War II and focuses on the creation and the early years of Captain America. Steve Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, is played by Chris Evans with Hugo Weaving as The Red Skull(literally, of course).

Rogers is given an experimental drug which, for their lack of creativity in the 40’s, is called the Super Soldier Serum. This serum takes him to the height of physical perfection. Simply put, he is bigger, faster and stronger than any man on Earth. Upon receipt of his upgrade, the scientist who blessed him with this gift is assassinated by a member of a criminal organization known as HYDRA. The group is lead by Red Skull(Weaving) who, like any other leader of a criminal organization, is hell-bent on world domination. However, all this is put on hold when Captain America steps in(insert theme music). That is pretty much the skeleton in the closet of any super hero movie. This is Marvel’s final movie before they release ‘Avengers’ in 2013(can’t wait!).

Those fans of the Captain America comic book, like myself, should truly enjoy this movie. It has a great cast, though I was a little apprehensive about Evans playing the Captain, I was pleasantly surprised by his performance. I kept waiting… and waiting for the wisecrack, sexual innuendo or “Flame On” anytime he wasn’t planted on the ground and… it never came(aww). Instead what I got was a solid performance, and you can’t ask for anymore than that. Most of the comedy was served up a la Tommy Lee Jones as Colonel Chester Phillips. Directed by Joe Johnston(Wolfman, Jurassic Park III) the film is an origin story(which I love) and with so much to tell he does a good job of  consolidating it without the film getting bogged down………it kept moving. The action sequences were well done, with subtle digital effects here and there, “subtlety” being the key word as nothing felt out of place here.

So, if you were on the fence and skeptical, like me, about seeing this movie, then let me put your skepticism to rest and say “definitely, go check out this comic book depiction!

Deleon’s Final Dish: Great acting, great action, great summer fun for you and the family.

Sup,

Ashley Tisdale & Julianne Hough decided to play in Miami over the weekend, splashin’ around on jet skis in bikinis, lookin sexy as all get out, while I made my usual 45 min drive to work my ass off all weekend at a thankless job. Life is fair! Not that I want to be Ashley or Julianne, but it sure would’ve been nice to be on the same beach, ogling from afar with the sand in between my toes. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so, eh, God? Naw, the “Man Upstairs” has been good to me, but I’m just sayin’.

Anyway, Julianne’s brother, Derek Hough, was there, as well, but who really cares, ‘cuz I’m pretty sure he didn’t care like I would’ve cared, and if that made sense, you are so in the right place.

Gotta “End” with this: Does Julianne have a nice ass or what? Dayum! Tell us who you think has the better bikini butt in the poll below.

Enjoy the rest of the Ashley Tisdale Julianne Hough pics:

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Sup,

Holly Madison has a ridiculous body! Her smile ain’t too bad either. Wearing a sexy dress, shamelessly accentuating the jublees, she stopped by The Mandalay Bay Hotel in Las Vegas over the weekend to accept the Beautiful Humanitarian Award at The North American Hairstyle Awards Ceremony, proving she’s not just a good samaritan in the bedroom. Yeeeeah, no matter how much money she made while doing so, I’ll always consider her bangin’ Hef, as long as she did, a level of charity that’s beyond measure.

As it turns out, Holly chose to wear the same dress Kim Kardashian wore a week prior in Las Vegas to Tao Nightclub for her party. Who wore it best? Vote below!

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